Editor’s note: We are publishing this post of Mr. Inocencio Mercado in full, as posted on his Facebook account. Mr. Mercado made this post in public after losing his kid.
The FB post has garnered over 24,000 shares as of March 1. Mercado posted this on his account last February 26, 2021.
WHY I LOST MY KID
A Message to all EDUCATORS, PARENTS, AND TO THE WHOLE PLAN ON THIS DISTANT LEARNING
So much guilt. I ask and tell myself so many questions and so many different reasons. Why did he take his own life? We love him so much. Me and the rest of my family always did our best to give all the things that he asked for but at the end, still no answer. WHY?
My son JINO was a very intelligent kid. Ever since his kinder days and even until he graduated grade school, he was always on top of his class, always averaging 90+, and even passing all the tests to join the SPECIAL SCIENCE section in Education and Training Center School and Negros Occ, High School which is an elite group of students with advanced curriculum, the cream of a crop in their school. My kid had never failed a subject nor tasted a grade lower than 90. He was an IDOL to most of his classmates.
JINO was also such a lovable and kind kid. He was so sweet [malambing to the max]. At home with just his mom and I, he would sit on my side or ask me to join him on the bed and would just embrace and kiss me nonstop until I complained of my wet face. He never complains but just follows as he is told [he will just cry a little or show a sad face as a sign of complaint]. It is his way of showing me love.
What triggered him to take his own life? In his 7th grade (1st year high school), he was devastated to have received a grade of 80 on his very 1st grading, with which I considered as only a very minor subject (Edukasyon sa Pagpapakatao EsP or Good Manners and Right Conduct). The rest of his major subjects such as Math and Science were all 90+. With this, I scolded him and limited his time on games with his gadgets.
What could he have been thinking?
What’s going to happen if I am removed from the elite section?…
Where will I be transferred?…
What would my parents think?…
What would my friends and classmates say behind my back?…
When can I get back my freedom to play with my gadgets?…
I am so guilty. Why was I so strict with my kid? Why did I deprive him of his cellphone just because of a “failed” grade? Why did he not tell me? Why did I not notice the inner problems of my kid? Why does his mother have to work, preventing the most important bond between a mother and a kid?
The passing grade of the special science section is 85 but he got an 80 on that one minor subject. What will happen if he fails again due to this incompetent and heartless teacher who not did care about the feelings of the students during this pandemic period of our time? Giving him this grade of 80, knowing this would take him out of the special section, directly posting this on his report card without informing nor consulting with us parents of the problem. My kid was such a kind and soft boy, who would just keep his problems within himself, facing them alone.
He was being tortured internally time and time again that on the 25th of January his mind gave way and opened the door for the DEVIL to come in.
This failed grade, as a father, pushed me to get angry that I scolded him and confiscated his brand-new cellphone because of this Mobile Legends game that has consumed the brain and time of our kids. (It is a violent game that has lots of killings. [I hope the Government restricts these violent games from our kids]. I feel guilty because I didn’t try to find the reason for his failed grade. And why were we not informed by the teacher of the problem? It is not fair to fail my kid, or ANY KID, during this pandemic period with remote learning especially on a subject like ESP [moral values]. If you haven’t personally known your student, how can you evaluate them on his values during distant learning?
Why have I not seen the burden inside my kid? Why did I not see the problem inside his mind? This is because the bonding we had was more on man’s responsibility and activities rather than inner problems and feelings.
I am retired and his mother is working from morning till late afternoon. This is a call to all PARENTS. Please don’t take for granted your bonding moments with your kid. One of the most important things for your children is to open up their inner problems or frustrations. Give your kids the very precious time to open up to you, PARENTS.
To all educators, you are the second parents of your students. Give them your HEART not only their grades because education is not only of the mind but also of LOVE, FAMILY and GOD. “THINK BEFORE YOU GRADE.”
MAY GOD FORGIVE YOU…